The Joy of Swearing

I grew up in a very sheltered household.  My mother, rest her soul, never swore, even once in my hearing.  I mean ever!  How is that even possible for a human being to do?  Though she was very devout Methodist I think there was more going on.  Like she was wired to hate swearing.

Mind you we are not just talking the hard hitters like fuck, shit, piss, cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker and tits.  We are talking a situation where butt ,poop or pee were mouth washed out with soap offenses.  Yes, it was always number one or number two in our house.  The anatomical parts were never mentioned at all unless injured, then it was mostly pointing.

Dad would swear mildly out of mom’s presence from time to time but would hold his tongue when she was around.  I must say at this point that mom was not a scary person not physically and not verbally.  It is still a mystery to me why most people walked on egg shells around her when it came to swearing.  I think we loved her and did not want to disappoint her.  She just looked so sad and disappointed when a ‘bad’ word was uttered.

I do remember one incident which lead to open outrage from her.  My younger brother who was in the more challenged class at school came home and called me a fucker.  Well that was a new one on me so I didn’t know if I should be offended or not.  I suggested that he ask mom what it meant.  I was standing outside on the porch and could hear the yelling very plainly from there.  Wow!!  As you might imagine that was my favorite word from then on.

Anyway you get the picture of my sheltered childhood.  Lets just sum up by saying that one of the great gifts my mother unintentionally gave me was a life long joy of cussing.  It has been 44 years since I live with her and I still get a thrill from swearing and getting away with it.  I collect just the right words for a particular situation and let fly as required or just for fun.  This happens whether I am alone or with others.

Later in life my mom took to muttering under her breath whenever someone would cuss around her.  This is evil I admit but sometimes I would let a mild one drop just to hear her mutter.  Hey it was more entertaining than the Hallmark channel which was on 24/7!

Mom has been gone for a while now.  I miss her more all the time and the many gifts she gave me, weather intended or not.  She always loved me and that goes a long way.