Turn off, Tune Out, Drop In

There are many external and internal factors that keep many of us agitated, fearful and angry through much of our lives. This is by design in many cases and is targeted at the vulnerable person, like me.

Here are some coping mechanisms which I have learned over the years.

Turn Off

Many things in this world agitate us. Some of it is real, much if it is artificially manufactured by media. If you are a media junkie like me then you may or may not have noticed the effect media can have on your life.

For example I listen to many (many) audio books. Most of the time I listen to these books while driving or walking. Some parts of the books can become very intense, like battles or someone doing something sinister to an innocent.

One day as kind of a revelation I noticed that sometimes my feelings from the book leak into my behavior. I might be in the drive through at Mc Donalds and honk impatiently at a phone zombie in front of me or crowd up to the rear bumper of a person who is hanging a full car length back from the car in front of them. These things can bother me more when agitated by what that to which I am listening.

As I became more aware of the effect that the books have on me I started trying to make sure that what is going on in the book is separate from my real life that I am living in the moment. This is not easy. Sometimes I realized I need to turn off the book and listen to something more relaxing or to nothing at all.

Turn off can help with many types of media when it is affecting our mood. The most obvious agitator of people is the news. Many years ago I noticed that on most days there are only a few things happening that are really news. The rest of the 24 hours is filled up with opinions from talking heads, and most of what they say is conjecture about what ‘may’ happen. Almost all of it turns out not to happen or to happen differently. They would wind me up using my natural fears.

I also keep in mind that the news is showing the world through a very narrow window which can be easily manipulated. For instance a demonstration which only has a few people in it can be easily made to look larger through clever camera manipulation and editing.

Now I stick to about 30 minutes a day of news and most of that is reading from one of the more neutral news outlets such as AP or Reuters or the BBC. This has helped me to be more calm and realistic about the world.

Another example is movies or TV series. Ever notice that on TV a kid that is new to a school can’t be there more than 3 seconds before the over blown bullies find her and begin harassment. A guy in an action film can’t enter a town without heading straight to the local bar and again running into the local over blown scum.

I don’t know about you but for me this kind of drama can wind me up and also give a false sense of how dangerous the world really is. The effect was stronger when I was younger before I learned that most people actually make it from cradle to grave without being murdered or dying young of some horrible disease. It helped to look up the statistics. It also helped to realize that in most cases the goal of media is to sell tickets, sell diapers, get ratings to sell more diapers i. e. to make money.

Tune Out

So if we tune out the money making machine by getting the facts and even possibly limiting our exposure, what do we tune into? Good question and thanks for asking.

It isn’t so much that we should run from the modern world and its over blown media. Sometimes that may be the answer but in most cases education helps.

So where is this education I speak of?

One place it is not is on social media. At least not raw social media. Social media has been great for my life but it cannot be taken at face value. There are reliable sources out there. Scientific papers and science magazines such as Scientific American. The US government publishes a huge number of reliable facts, I’m speaking of government agencies and not politicians. There are also many good fact checking sites on the internet. Examples are: Politifact, FactCheck.org and many others. They are easy to find simply Google ‘Reliable fact checking sites’.

Rules of thumb that I use:

• If it is too good to be true or too bad to be true it probably is not true. Do more research
• Occams Razor (paraphrased): All things being equal the simplest answer is probably the right one
• If someone said it from their mouth, double check it with fact check
  • Don’t assume that because you like or trust the person that they are correct.
  • Don’t assume that you are hearing an unedited version of what the person said
  • If they said something wrong it may be an innocent mistake or it may have been intentional
• Keep cognitive dissonance in mind.
  • We all like to hear things that support our world view. This tendency of we humans is the biggest reason fake news propagates.
  • Human brains are notoriously unreliable. We tend to think that because we think or believe something that it is important and true.
• Learn to detect logic traps. This is a big subject and one that every person should learn something about. Wikipedia has a good article hear.
• Don’t dehumanize anyone. Much as we may dislike a person, hate what they say or hate what they do they are still only a human. Don’t give them the power of being some evil entity. This only makes us overly afraid of them.

Drop In

Drop into reality as much as possible. Try to get the real story about important issues. My statements above are simply many of the ways I have learned to manage my inner demons when they are stirred up by false or pretend situations and stories.

A final item which has helped me greatly is daily mindfulness meditation. I started meditating about 5 years ago using the Calm app. but there are many other good ones. I feel it has helped me become more aware of what my brain is up to and helps it to live in the now which is the only real and actionable time in our lives.

Stay real my friends

BTW:  Have you noticed the number of alcoholic characters on TV shows and movies?  Many times they are the protagonist. They drink hard liquor like water, usually enough to kill a moose.  Then somehow they can sober up at the drop of a hat and be totally physically fit and ready for action.