The Problem With A One and Done Life

We humans with our advanced intelligence have run into a problem. Our lives have a built in practical joke. We are born into the world and discover its wonders. As we age we accumulate life experiences and wisdom. Then we die and all of that is lost again. Like we never existed. It makes no sense to our advanced intellect.

I was raised in a Methodist household by parents who were true believers. Later for a few years after high school I was saved, baptized and became a bible thumping charismatic christian. Over the next 12 years or so I gradually became less a believer and more an agnostic. This has been my MO for the last 30 or so years.

Unfortunately as an agnostic I think there is probably no afterlife. I can’t prove that definitively which is why I am an agnostic and not an atheist. I do think it is the most likely scenario because it is the simplest explanation and fits with the evidence. Most of us have no trouble believing that animals or plants simply die but we don’t want that to be the case with humans but unfortunately it probably is the case.

Anyway as I was leaving the christian faith and becoming an agnostic one of my biggest challenges was to find meaning in a life that would probably have a definitive and complete end. It was and is so hard to imagine that all I have been through, all my memories, the love of my children, all the lessons stored in my brain will simply cease when I die. It is hard to imagine not being. The only thing I can compare it to is the state I was in before being born.

Finding meaning in life is important to we humans and I am no exception. So I had to find meaning in this view of life. The only life I will likely ever have.

I have learned that for my life to have meaning I must time box it. Life has meaning for me during my lifespan. Looking beyond that is fruitless and leads to weirdness like religion or seances. My life also has meaning to others who know me during their lifespan particularly relatives and particularly wives and children. I may also leave pieces of myself lying around for others to discover after I am gone. For instance this blog or the art I have created since retiring.

Mindfulness meditation fits well with the one and done view of life and death because it focuses on connection to the moment and to the body. I discovered it about 3 years ago and I wish it had been sooner. Very helpful.

What about people I love who have died? My mother died about 5 years ago as of this writing. Something I realized as I worked through my grief was that she still lives inside me. Literally in the same and only place she ever lived for me. In my brain. We model all the people we know in our brains. If we know them well enough we can predict what they will say in a situation or remember how it felt to hug them. They are still there, alive and well. True we get no new interactions with them and that is very sad but they are not gone as long as we remember them.

I see people all the time who mess themselves up trying to ascertain if the person they lost is still alive and well in an afterlife. They run to the preacher or to a medium and may miss out on the pure joy and sadness of just remembering.

There is value in facing hard truths like one person one life. Not everyone can or maybe even should try it, but for those of us who can there is a world view that opens up. I realize that the universe was around for billions of years before me and will be for billions after I am gone. It doesn’t care and thats ok, and no one asked me anyway. We are a life form riding and evolving on a minuscule part of that universe. This is humbling and kind of relaxing. The universe runs itself with or without me. I don’t have to make it break my way by calling out to a magic being to make it do what I want.

I think the future of the earth and human race are what we make them, right here, right now. The world only makes sense if honest with ourselves about its true nature. Daddy isn’t coming to fix things. If we care about the longevity of our race then we need to get some of us off this rock and on to other rocks to ensure that some of our race survives. We also need to make this rock sustainable for human and animal life.

Anyway you get the picture.